So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
