walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
