so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
