I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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