I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
they need to just BURY HIM!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
