Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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