My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I believe in your delicious
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
