brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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