this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
