pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
