Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
