she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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