yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize