remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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