So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think I won the penis lottery.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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