i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
