one two three fourrrrnication!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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