Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
