i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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