3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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