I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
