I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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