ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
