you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
