just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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