We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
