Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
