I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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