What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sext me about skeletons
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
