Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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