im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
