Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
