it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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