This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
