I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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