Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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