i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
