I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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