i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
