Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
