I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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