I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
