What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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