Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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