We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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