I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize