Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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