Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize