Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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