He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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