: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
