just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
