Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
