oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
