OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
