Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations

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(620): View more from Kansas

My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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(770): View more from Georgia

We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase

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(410): View more from Maryland

I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them

Fav 1 1089 2014
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.

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