So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
