Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
