all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
