i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
